Winry's pov
by darkangeltears06
Summary: my second fanfiction!yay! Basicly Winry's point on everything that has happened...story better than summary...lol. proulouge is short...sry..i'll make it longer in the next chapter!
1. Chapter 1

Alchemy. I damn the word. I hate it all. Anything that deals or mentions or requires alchemy. It all means the same thing to me. Shit.

In a way, alchemy was out to ruin my life. Its as if it keeps breaking me down to the point where all the peices are mixed up and scattered everywhere. It makes me lost and confused; creeping its way into my mind; tearing and destroying any love left in me.

I'm at a point where I cant be saved. There's no way to turn back and my scars can not be healed.

As alchemy helps and saves other people, its killing me. For if I ever do find my way home, I'll never be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**(authors note: This chapter is quite a bit longer than the other one! Includes major spoilers from episode 8 for this chapter! Oh and sorry it took so long! I ran out of time to type it)**

Chapter 1

Ed had passed the alchemy exams! I was so happy for my friend. So happy I was coming to where he was and celebrating with him! I had thought at the time it would be the best. But of course, it was only a dream.

I arrived to central and made my way to where my friends were. Of course, I had to wait though. My whole life was only waiting. Thats all I did, and of course, I still would.

Out of boredom, I looked around. The buildings were huge and orderly, not a thing like Rizumbul. There were tons of shops everywhere you looked, selling all sorts of merchendise. Did Ed and Al really like it here? Looking around more, I saw a van. I found myself walking over to it. It was so interesting. Rifrigerated on the inside, everything about it was so unique. It was probably very common around here, but I had never seen one of those before.

Suddenly, a woman approached me. She told me it was her van and if I would like to look around. I eagerly accepted, and soon enough I had my arms bound together and a cloth wrapped around my mouth. I let out a scream but it was muffled by the cloth.

"Be quiet now," The woman ordered. Her voice had a weird tone to it, sending chills through my whole body.

She tied my bound hands to another rope that was hanging up higher. She forced me behind a chunk of raw meat, telling me not to move. I was scared. I dont know if I had ever been this scared before. The woman went somewhere else, leaving me where I was.

Then more waiting. Waiting for someone to come or for my own death to occur. I was scared of what would happen, but more scared of never seeing my friends again. I promised myself not to get killed until I saw them again.

I heard voices from somewhere in the van so, ignoring what the woman said, tried my best to make noise. But soon, I was pulled out of where I was hidden. Doing this was a man who had the same face as the woman who bound me here. In front of him was Ed. He was tied to a chair, his automail arm missing. His golden eyes, filled with rage at first, looked at me and filled with fear.

The man approached Edward, and sliced him. I couldn't see where from were I was but I did see blood trickle down and land on the stone floor. My eyes widened and I screamed out, "Hurt me instead!" but no one heard me. The man was about to stab Ed when Ed escaped. What would have happened it Edward was still in that chair? I screamed out "Please stop!" and "Kill me, not him!" but the damn cloth on my mouth concealed my coice.

I was stuck watching the whole fight. Ed tried to cut me loose, although I kept yelling at him to not, but the man attacked him again before I was down. The rest of what happened was a blur. Everything started getting mixed up and my mind was going blank, I kept screaming out but none of it was heard. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself knocking the man over.

When everything became clear in my head again, I saw Alphonse next to a crying Ed, and military people helping me down. We got lead outside where the people questioned me. I didn't say a word for I was too much in shock. I only looked around for Ed and Al.

There they were,sitting on the steps. Ed said something, and soon enough had is head burried in his hands and let out mournful sobs. I found myself crying at the sight of this and someone put there hand on my shoulder.

The millitary people dropped us of where Ed and Al stayed. The three of us just went to bed without saying another word. I ended up just sleeping on the couch for no one showed me around the "house".

That night was filled with nightmares. I kept dreaming that Ed was killed and I was there watching. The man then proceeded to killing everyone I loved, forcing me to watch. I wanted to wake up screaming, but instead I cried in my pillow so no noise would be made. When I was younger, I was accoustomed to just getting into Ed or Al's bed after a nightmare, but now they would probably just find me a nuissance.

The following morning, after a restless night of sleep, Ed and Al took me shopping. They acted like nothing just happened the day before. Were they used to those types of things? God, was this how dangerous their lives were?

Since they were acting as if nothing happened, I tried too. Oh God I tried but it was so hard. Everytime I looked at Ed I saw the scar the man had given him. Everytime I looked at Al, I just wanted to cry. They both kept buying me item after item when I asked for it. I felt bad. Really bad. I quickly bought Ed something for his automail arm since I wouldnt be there to fix it all the time. Sad, isn't it? I though one little thing would solve everything that happened that day.

I did eventually loosen up a little more, and by the time they dropped me back off at the trainstation, I asked the usual question, "When are you coming back?" Al turned his head but Ed looked me solemly in the eyes and gave me the answer. "We cant come back Winry."

All I could do was nod and turn away. The whole train ride home those words echoed in my head. I would be waiting for nothing. Then I realized, I kept my promise I made to myself. I saw my friends again.

So could I die now?

t.b.c.

**First full chapter! YAY! sry about the typos, my cheap wordpad doesnt have spell check...again sry it took so long!**


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